Saturday, November 12, 2011

Dumb Ones

Dear blogfans, I just wanted y'all to know that I have eaten my very last frozen "diet" meal. I was working at home on Thursday and had let lunchtime come and go. Very hungry, not much doin' in the pantry. I found a frozen "Smart Ones" Weight Watchers brand meatloaf and mashed potatoes. Shaking my head, I stuck it in the microwave and did what I was instructed to do.

It was freakin' awful. The mashed potatoes were watery, weirdly salty and seasoned with apparently a mixture of MSG and chives. The meatloaf was chewy, weirdly unsalty, and basically disgusting with a side of awfulsauce. Everyone, extend an arm in front of you, palm up. Bring the palm firmly to your forehead while emitting a forceful "Duh!"

But now I will never, ever buy or eat another Dumb Ones meal. I'm free! I'm free! And freedom tastes of reality.

In related news, I no longer buy nonfat yogurt. Organic whole milk plain yogurt is so amazingly tasty and satisfying, it's like ambrosia. Some rolled oats, some walnut pieces, a little honey, and a dollop of Nancy's finest, and breakfast is a beautiful thing. Giving up Splenda might be harder. Stay tuned.


  1. Yuck! I'm with you, real food is much more satisfying. I love plain yogurt! Recently, I've been enjoying goat and sheep's milk yogurt...soooo tasty!

  2. I recently discovered xlyitol. and love it! natural, more like sugar, and low glycemic.

  3. It would take three of those frozen diet meals to even touch my hunger. And they tasted terrible! But I finally had to admit to myself recently that I actually like the taste of Splenda in my tea. Sigh - my one concession to weird diet food. But only because I like it better than sugar (and in those drinks only).

  4. Oooh, Cake! Goat and sheep's milk yogurt, that sounds particularly yum. I will have to seek those out.

  5. When those meals have a slab of beef meat, they always suck. You can't make a slab of beef be in a frozen meal without it being super-fake for some reason.

    The chicken ones aren't as bad, but still...

    I use frozen meals for emergencies when I don't want to make anything for lunch and there are no leftovers to snag. And only certain brands that aren't as disgusting as Dumb Ones. :)

    But I do non-fat yogurt because I think full fat yogurt it too thick especially if it's Greek yogurt which is already thick. Same with cheese.

    Basically, I I pick everything based on taste not because it's "diet". A lot of diet food is actually high in sugar, in fact. Or full of sugar alcohols which don't agree with me.

  6. I read The Ominvore's Dilemma a couple years back and have made changes in this direction since then. I'm very, shall we say, flexible, with my food plan so I still eat plenty of processed and "low fat" foods but like MacMadame said above, I do it when taste is not sacrificed. I do 1% milk (mostly because whole milk makes me phlegmy), "light" cheese sticks and non-fat greek yogurt. When I eat regular yogurt I do whole fat. I still like my light salad dressings (but not non-fat, yuck). I can't stand artificial sweeteners of any kind so that eliminates a lot of "diet" food right off the bat. I could go on and on, but this is your blog, not mine :)